When I was just knee high to a grasshopper I loved war, particularly Vietnam. At six years old I co-wrote my first story, largely based on my fascination with the TV show Tour of Duty
, and oddly enough it was the only surviving item in an apartment fire my co-writer suffered, so naturally he got to keep the very brief manuscript. Was this a sign I’m destined to write war movies?
My favorite war movie as a child was Rambo: First Blood Part II
. I was an action junkie and I probably watched the recorded off broadcast VHS tape well over twenty times. To this day I can still quote Rambo’s final monologue. At the time, I had no idea my favorite action star was also writer on the shooting draft of the script, or had hired a young upstart writer to pen the first draft, now one of my favorite writer/directors, James Cameron.
I recently sat down and read the Cameron draft and then the Stallone draft. What a terrific exercise in script development, and I highly recommend doing such a process of reading early and later drafts of scripts and analyzing the changes. Great scripts often go through double-digit draft counts, so you should never feel discouraged when your first or second draft isn’t ready for the eyes of those in the biz.
When it comes to rewriting, there are so many ways to approach it. I have always tended to start broad and then narrow my perspective down to single scenes, and then get as specific as single lines. Of course, starting with the whole script can be daunting, so beginning on a single important scene could always be a good way to get going.
I’m linking to a PDF of one scene taken from both the Cameron draft and the Stallone draft. I picked this scene because it’s fairly easy to answer the important questions of: 1) What is the scene about? 2) Whose scene is it? and 3) Why does it need to be in the script? It’s interesting because, while Cameron’s early take uses much more flowery language and so one could argue it's better written, Stallone’s version is much better in terms of the dramatic conflict and using only what's needed to move the story forward. In other words, Stallone asked those questions above to focus and improve the scene. Still, Cameron does get credit for the great button on the end.
Rambo II scene comparison Script
, and oddly enough it was the only surviving item in an apartment fire my co-writer suffered, so naturally he got to keep the very brief manuscript. Was this a sign I’m destined to write war movies?My favorite war movie as a child was Rambo: First Blood Part II
. I was an action junkie and I probably watched the recorded off broadcast VHS tape well over twenty times. To this day I can still quote Rambo’s final monologue. At the time, I had no idea my favorite action star was also writer on the shooting draft of the script, or had hired a young upstart writer to pen the first draft, now one of my favorite writer/directors, James Cameron.I recently sat down and read the Cameron draft and then the Stallone draft. What a terrific exercise in script development, and I highly recommend doing such a process of reading early and later drafts of scripts and analyzing the changes. Great scripts often go through double-digit draft counts, so you should never feel discouraged when your first or second draft isn’t ready for the eyes of those in the biz.
When it comes to rewriting, there are so many ways to approach it. I have always tended to start broad and then narrow my perspective down to single scenes, and then get as specific as single lines. Of course, starting with the whole script can be daunting, so beginning on a single important scene could always be a good way to get going.
I’m linking to a PDF of one scene taken from both the Cameron draft and the Stallone draft. I picked this scene because it’s fairly easy to answer the important questions of: 1) What is the scene about? 2) Whose scene is it? and 3) Why does it need to be in the script? It’s interesting because, while Cameron’s early take uses much more flowery language and so one could argue it's better written, Stallone’s version is much better in terms of the dramatic conflict and using only what's needed to move the story forward. In other words, Stallone asked those questions above to focus and improve the scene. Still, Cameron does get credit for the great button on the end.
Rambo II scene comparison Script
I hope looking at this can help you think about how to tackle rewriting scenes in your script. Leave me your thoughts on the scene or rewriting in the comments.
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